


Where all the poets went to die

by winestainedress



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Lee Taeyong/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Established Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Established Lee Taeyong/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Fluff, Happy Ending, Living Together, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mentioned Qian Kun, Producer Qian Kun, Romantic Fluff, Soloist Lee Taeyong, The Lakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27301684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winestainedress/pseuds/winestainedress
Summary: Taeyong learns that sometimes, no matter how many things you try, escaping is the only way to keep on surviving.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Kudos: 30





	Where all the poets went to die

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Lord, it's been ages but here it is ["The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26190964) part 2 (this one is basically a slice of life, but I recommend you to read the first part anyway or else you won't understand what led them here). I HATE this with a burning passion because even if I wrote it soon after the other I just kept of not being satisfied but I couldn't see this in the draft anymore so it is what it is. 
> 
> I’ve never been to Windermere so I actually have no idea how’s life there, the things that are in the story come from google (blame it if something’s wrong), I just think the air is a little bit less polluted since is not a city as big as Seoul and is overall surrounded by lakes. 
> 
> This was supposed to be inspired by [the lakes](https://youtu.be/tOHcAc3r2kw) by Taylor but it got lost in the way so there's a lot more of domestic fluff and Johnten being the best supportive friends he could ask for.
> 
> Enjoy this mess. (English is not my first language so there might be some mistakes, I'm sorry)

Taeyong really wished people would’ve deleted him, pushed him and Doyoung out of their minds as soon as possible. He wished that destroying his career was enough for them. But apparently, things never work as you want them to go. Months went by, and somehow they still seemed to be the most exciting rumour on everybody’s tongue. The hurtful comments never stopped flooding Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr. He shouldn’t have done that, maniacally looking up for his name, or Doyoung’s, but he did. He just wanted to be in contact with his fans, he knew that some of them were still there. He wanted to be present for them, let them know he was grateful for their support, and for still believing in him and accepting who he really was. The problem was that the hate they were giving him was bigger than anything else, and one nice comment wasn’t enough to delete all the malice. 

But Taeyong was headstrong, or as Doyoung would say, a dickhead, and just kept checking his phone every second. The younger knew that his obsession was the result of his idol life, he was raised with the idea that he had to perfect and to obsess about what people thought of him. Because his reputation had to be perfect, no mistakes, no foul, no trait of being human. But Taeyong wasn’t an idol anymore; some company reached for him but he rejected, not mentally ready to face that all over again. And Doyoung was tired of seen him self-sabotaging himself. So it wasn’t unexpected when one day they had a big fight over it. Doyoung had just got home from work to see Taeyong basically in the middle of a panic attack, trembling on the floor, as he was sobbing uncontrollably. Doyoung didn’t even want to know what he had seen or read, he couldn’t care about it, but he was furious that once again his boyfriend was in that conditions because of people that had nothing to do with their lives. He didn’t say a thing, though, he simply let Taeyong crawl in his arms and cry on his shoulder, the older mumbling incomprehensible words against his shirt. And it took him the whole night to calm him down, and put him to bed, finally falling asleep when it was almost four in the morning. Doyoung was done, filled to the brim, his patience gone completely. He couldn’t stop people from writing terrible things on him, or hate him, or think that he was a tremendous person, but he could stop Taeyong from hurting himself. And Taeyong didn’t like it. 

“Why did you do that?” The brown-haired screamed as he threw his phone on the couch. 

“Because I was tired of seeing you harming yourself, Yong,” Doyoung answered trying to keep his tone calm, shouting at the other would’ve just made things worst. 

“You could’ve asked me? Since it’s my phone, and my socials and my life!” He had had a terrible night, so he was already nervous because of that, and when he turned on his phone just to see that all of his socials were deleted his irritation skyrocketed. Taeyong knew that he wasn't mad because Doyoung did it on his back, he just wanted to find an excuse. He was obsessed with all of that, and he simply hated that now he had to drop his toxic routine. 

“And you would’ve said yes?” Doyoung asked provocatively “You can’t get your mind away from them. Socials were consuming you and I’m not letting you do that. Because it may be your life but we are in this together, and it also concerns me since I love you.” 

Taeyong didn’t answer, his gaze met the floor, as silent tears started to roll down his face. Doyoung was right, he was aware of that. But somehow not knowing what people thought of him was agonizing. He had to know if things changed, if maybe they opened their eyes and realized the truth of his old rumours that resurfaced and accepted that he was gay. 

“Please,” Doyoung whispered moving closer, standing now face to face with him, his hands softly cupping his cheeks, “I’m doing this for you.” 

And Taeyong was glad he did that. The first few days had been hard, the urge to download them again was always there in the back of his mind. But after a while, Taeyong started to feel better. 

Still, somehow, his mental state wasn’t getting any better. He felt like he was in jail in his own town. He simply didn’t feel safe to go out with the risk of being recognized and followed or assaulted. It had been four months since he didn’t leave the house. Also, it became strange and dangerous for Doyoung too. People had found some of their friend’s Instagram and discovered other photos of him, his face was now pretty known and he didn’t feel safe going to work and coming home late as he did before. Somebody once had followed him home, and he had to threaten of calling the police. 

So Taeyong came to the solution that he had to disappear. But not without his muse. 

And they did. Doyoung didn’t hesitate a second to say yes when Taeyong had proposed him to run away. It had happened one night, and quietly unexpectedly for both of them. 

They were laying on their bed, Doyoung busy reading a novel and Taeyong reading an article Johnny had sent him about the Lake District where he lived with Ten. Without realizing Taeyong grew fascinated and started to look up for more videos of The Lakes. Everything about it seemed beautiful and he also remembered all the good things Johnny used to tell him every time they talked. They were supposed to visit them in February, for the occasion of celebrating Doyoung and Johnny’s birthday differently (and also Ten’s, even if they would’ve already been back in Korea by the 27th), but then the agency filled Taeyong with schedules and everything dropped. Taeyong remembered the stories Ten told him about English literature, how the district was famous for its poets, like Wordsworth and Coleridge. And soon enough he found himself lost in their words, blown away for the little English he could understand and the little justice Korean translation could do to those words. And before he could think, words slipped out of his rosy lips. “Take me to The Lakes, where all the poets went to die.” 

Seconds of silence passed by before the older spoke again, “I don’t belong here, and my beloved, neither do you.” 

If it had been just six months before Doyoung would’ve laughed at him, told him he was crazy and was being irresponsible, but now, things were totally different. What did they have to lose when they had already lost everything?

✯✯✯

The spring breeze was softly blowing on Taeyong’s face, as he looked outside of the window of their bedroom. It had been one year since he had disappeared, literally faded from the real world. His mom told him that his fans were concerned about him, not hearing from him for months made them think of the worst-case scenarios. Yet, he was doing better than he ever was. After twelve months he still felt like a baby every time he woke up and breathed in the air England offered him. Probably it was the fact that he could actually open a window to let new fresh air in, and don’t stick to AC like he was used to in Korea because the air was polluted, and it would’ve done more harm than good. Or the fact that around him was nature and pretty houses, with brown bricks, and wooden windows, and balconies filled with flowers and plants. The lake didn’t even touch the city, but somehow the air there smelled different. And he couldn’t even care much about the rain filling up most of the days. Or how hard it had been to learn English and understand their accent. He was just glad he was there. Far away from the negativity. Finally, feeling like a human being again. 

Taeyong turned around, eyeing his boyfriend who was still sleeping peacefully in their bed. A smile crept on his face as he studied his relaxed features, he felt so lucky to have somebody so beautiful, inside and out, in his life. Taeyong knew that he had been particularly hard for him to move all the way to England. The younger didn’t show it much, but he knew. He had to drop his work in Korea and rebuild his business in a foreign country, learn a foreign language, just when things had started to be good for him. At the end it worked, his business became successful faster than it did in Seoul, to the point that he also had the chance to open an online shop and started to sell around the world. However, it was tiring for him since he was the only one who was actively working. It wasn’t about the money, Doyoung wanted to do something and don’t lean on Taeyong’s career money, and also he had worked too hard to built his business to drop his dream just because he went to live somewhere else. So after many sleepless nights, and hard work, he could finally relax a little bit. Just three months before he could afford to employ somebody else to help him, and now there were three of them working at the shop. 

And finally seeing him sleeping peacefully, just like a baby, made Taeyong feel warm. 

Running a hand through his now black hair, he sighed and started to make his way down to the kitchen. That was another thing that he had missed. Tranquil mornings together, with none rushing them, no training schedule for him in the evening, or the urge to update people about his life –or better, his made-up life. A bittersweet smile broke on his face as he stopped for a second, thinking how people preferred a fake fabricated version of him to a real sincere one. Let’s make it clear, he loved his fans, and he really liked to share things with them, but the fact that he always had to cut out something, or somebody, to fit the narrative of the perfect boy he had to be, made it feel like an obligation. 

The cold air caused a shiver to run down his spine. It was late March, and even if the hard cold dropped, the weather loved to remind him that they were still in England. Luckily it didn’t seem to be cloudy, a quiet sunny day seemed to be headed for them, and Taeyong wanted to take the energy of the shy sun shining in the sky to make the best of his day. 

“Wow,” Doyoung whispered as soon as he entered the kitchen, a tired smile was plastered on his face as he tried to shrug the sleep from his eyes, “why so happy?” He asked as he kept glancing Taeyong’s body energetically dancing around the kitchen to the tunes coming from the radio. 

His boyfriend turned around, the brightest smile ever on his face, placed two plates down the kitchen isle and then leaned on it. 

“Nothing specific, today looks like a perfect day to breathe in all the good vibes the universe offers,” he tilted his head to the side just to swiftly blow him a kiss and then turn back around. 

Doyoung giggled and then rolled his eyes. He was pretty sure that this was all Ten’s fault, him and his astrology readings, and all of those things he simply felt too stupid to understand. He was fascinated but not even half of what Taeyong was. So their couples dates consisted on Taeyong and Ten talking about art, tarot readings, zodiac charts, while he and Johnny listened, not getting a word of what they said, or talking about something else. At the start, Doyoung wasn’t that close with them, but soon enough he found out that they were really great. He discovered an amazing friend in Johnny, especially after he helped him a lot with his business and English. And as much as sometimes Ten was a pain in the ass, and they spent half of their time together bickering, he knew they had a great relationship. Pretty unusual but great. 

That morning he definitely didn’t feel as energetic as his boyfriend was, but Taeyong’s aura was enough to pull him through the day (plus, he just needed to – actually – wake up). So he dragged his feet to his partner, and once he was behind his back he wrapped his arms around his tiny waist. His head falling in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply his scent, and nuzzling against his hair. 

“Uh, somebody wants cuddles,” Taeyong teased in a sing-song tone. 

“Yeah, I’m not good at freeing my soul like you. I take my energy from you, not the universe,” Doyoung mumbled, still against his warm skin. 

“Legit. I am your universe,” Taeyong joked, turning red soon after as he realized what he had said. 

Doyoung huffed, “If I wasn’t this sleepy I would’ve slapped you,” he said seriously. “But I need my kisses and hugs to warm up for the day, so I’m going to deal with your super sugary self.” 

✯✯✯

The low chatting around the four men filled the room, alongside with the music playing from the speakers of the pub. 

“The Crafty Baa” was by now a ritual for them. It was the first place their friends took them when they first arrived (okay, in reality not the first, since they had other priority, much to Johnny disposal, but whatever). It was definitely a quirky and strange place, something Taeyong absolutely loved. And Ten knew it damn well that was what the boy needed after all the things he had been trough. Johnny wanted to take them somewhere else but his boyfriend insisted, and at the end, it worked.

Now, a year later, Taeyong seemed to be fascinated by the place just like he was the first time. 

“I really hope you’re not ordering garlic bread once again, or else forget my kisses,” Ten glanced at Johnny as soon as he saw his boyfriend focusing on that page of the menu. A mix of disgust and judgment all over his face. 

“I can live without your kiss but not without garlic bread, sorry ‘bout it,” he answered shrugging with a grin on his face. 

“John Youngho Seo, I’m getting a divorce,” Ten exclaimed slamming his hands on the table, not so strong but loud enough to make Doyoung roll his eyes to the sky and shrink on his place already regretting to have agreed of going out. 

“We’re not even married,” Johnny noted with his eyebrow furrowed.

“About that,” Taeyong interrupted their playful bickering, “you should think about it. You’ve been together for almost ten years now.” 

Maybe Taeyong wasn’t in the place to pressure them about it, but damn if he got excited over weddings, and damn, if he hadn’t been their number one supporter since they got together. Johnny gulped, as he shyly looked at Ten to see his reaction. The boy was pretty much unaffected by it. It wasn’t an uncomfortable topic, they simply never got there. Taeyong was right, they had been together for ten years now. Knowing each other at Uni in London, both of them studying Graphic Design and Visual Communications. It didn’t take long to become friends, eventually become roommates the second year and then start dating in the middle of it all. It was just so normal for them to be together, and to be so domestic since the start, that marriage just wasn’t something that popped in their minds frequently. They were pretty fine with what they had. But they would be lying if they said they never dreamed about that day. 

“You should’ve minded your business,” Doyoung said to Taeyong when nobody said a word for a while. 

Ten laughed at Taeyong’s sad expression and then spoke up, “Nah, it’s fine. We don’t think about it much, but I wouldn’t mind becoming his husband.” He said with a genuine smile on his face, as he glanced up to Johnny who was looking down at him. The words coming out of the Thai's lips causing Johnny to finally relax. For an instant, he had feared Ten didn't like the idea of marrying him. 

“I’m planning it!” Taeyong jumped on the spot, breaking the two lovers’ magic moment. 

“Since when you’re a wedding planner, now?” Doyoung asked as he threw his hands in the air, making everybody laugh. 

“Oh shut up, I’ve got style.” 

“I wouldn’t trust him,” he mouthed to Johnny, knowing damn well that Ten was on his side. 

“We see you.” And as a matter of fact, both Ten and Taeyong spoke at the same time. A pout on both of their faces. 

Johnny tried to hold his grin but Doyoung straight up rolled his eyes at the sky once again. “Like I care,” he shrugged sipping from his red beer. 

“You don’t support me, I’m dropping your ass,” Taeyong started to whine tugging at his shoulder. And as much as Doyoung wanted to keep the teasing going it was harder than expected when he turned around to see Taeyong with puppy eyes and lips pouting at him. 

“I’m just saying,” Doyoung started to mumble, “you need to be focused to prepare our wedding, not theirs.” 

Time froze for a second, their friends wanted to scream but nobody at the table was quite sure how literally Doyoung meant that. Was it just a playful remark? Or did he propose to him right there? 

“You,” Taeyong started to mumble, looking in his eyes completely lost, “you would marry me?” 

Doyoung gulped, just now realizing what he had actually said. Maybe he had been random, but, did he lie? 

“Yes, I mean, why I wouldn’t want to?” He asked, sincerely confused about how the news seemed to be so unexpected for Taeyong. 

The older bit his lips and then turned around. He knew that, and he lowkey – high key – wanted it, too. But somehow talking about it made him feel strange. Not even in a bad way. It was just the realization that what they had was real, and long-lasting. The idea made his heart jump in his chest, the teenage stupid butterflies were once again flying in his stomach. Yet, something about commitment scared him. All of his usual haunting “What ifs” were lingering in his brain, he couldn’t seem to be able to let them go. His train of thoughts was soon interrupted by the same waitress of always approaching their table asking them if they were ready to order. The tension dropped as soon as both couples decided to drop that talk and focus on what to eat. 

By the end of the night, all of the boys were pretty much drunk, the only one sober was Johnny. Ten was laying against Johnny's shoulder as he giggled over nothing every time he made eye contact with Taeyong and Doyoung was trying so hard to make a conversation, he wasn't -that- drunk, but somehow speaking English while his blood turned into beer seemed harder than the usual. 

"Remember when we got drunk that one time that Taeyong came to London?" Ten asked, suddenly gaining back a little bit of sanity. Johnny sighed as the memory came back to his mind. 

"It was so funny," Taeyong said as he remembered that night too. 

"Funny my ass," Johnny said through his teeth, "I had to drag your drunk, chaotic asses back to the campus trying not to get caught and to be extremely careful that your pretty face wouldn't get a single scratch." 

Ten next to him rolled his eyes, "How dramatic. You had fun too," 

"Yeah, up until I had to become your babysitter," Johnny exclaimed. "Drunk teenage Taeyong was something else. Remember that you tried to hook up with that man that was at least twice your age?" 

"Oh shut up!" Taeyong exclaimed as his hands went up to cover his face that somehow was become even redder now. 

Doyoung snickered, "Oh, so you were into dilfs," 

"Listen," Taeyong exhaled, "I was horny and desperate. I used to spend my days going to school and then training, I basically had no free time." 

"So the only holiday you got you decided to fuck around," Johnny continued but got shut down as soon as Taeyong threw something at him. Not really harmful. _What a shame you can't kill a man with a napkin._ Taeyong thought as he realized his failed mission. 

"You never told me you were this wild," Doyoung said playfully, as he pinched his boyfriend's cheek. 

"I wasn't that wild, let me live." He pouted making everybody laugh. 

"We had fun, tho," Ten said smiling as he started thinking about the time that passed. He was happy that now Taeyong was so close to them. He knew how close he was with Johnny, and how hard it had been for them when Taeyong started to be less present due to the training and Johnny had to leave to attend the University in London. And even if he came in his life later, he still felt the struggle when they used to spent months without talking because Taeyong's phone was taken away from him, or the times he couldn't text much because he was exhausted. Ten always wondered how Taeyong survived that hell, it felt straining from the outside he couldn't really imagine what the older man felt. And because of that he really admired him, he knew that he deeply loved his job, or else he wouldn't have carried through all that. So he was glad that they had decided to get away from that toxic environment, he had been so happy when Taeyong called to them to deliver the news. A little bit egoistically he really wanted to have him close to him. Even though he was Johnny's best friend, the two of them built an amazing friendship through the years, they connected in so many ways, and Ten loved to have somebody he could talk to about the strangest and most random things he was into. He would've preferred if something like this happened differently, if they didn't have to go through all the hate and cancel culture, but they couldn't change the past or destiny, so he tried to see the best of every situation. And now, he was pretty sure that both, Taeyong and Doyoung were happy where they were. 

"Yes, we did," Taeyong smiled as he stared at his two best friends and his boyfriend. He tried not to think much about his past, too many things he had to give up, and people he lost for a dream that crumbled apart in his hands. He didn't want to think about that. He was happy now, surrounded by the people he loved the most, and for now, that was worth everything. 

✯✯✯

Taeyong’s long fingers were moving on the piano keys, the notes filled the room with a repetitive rhythm. It had been quite some time since he got close to anything that was related to music. He won’t lie, he felt broken because that magic spell he had with music seemed to be broken. Shuttered into million pieces. 

Taeyong felt empty. 

Music came to him when he had nothing. All of his friends had dreams and goals to reach, all of them were super ambitious. And then there was him, with nothing to look forward to. But just when he felt hopeless, music came to him and saved him. It showed him the light in his life he couldn’t seem to be able to discover/find. 

And he had to work so hard to get where he was. When he first joined the agency he basically had no artistic background. He had to start from zero. And he was never going to forget the screams of his teachers, telling him he was hopeless, and talentless, that he wasn’t going to go anywhere in his life. A waste of time. Just a pretty face. 

He was losing contact with the only thing that made him feel alive. And for something he never wanted in the first place. 

Being an idol was the price to pay if he wanted to pursue his dream. And he paid the highest price. 

He wanted to create music, art. He wanted to connect people through his words and stories, not be a plastic doll that had to sit there and be manipulated by others. 

Yet, somehow, he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. 

Rage flashed over him as the same old note came out from the piano and he hit it with a punch. A distorted sound filling the room. 

Hot tears started to fill his eyes, as he started to feel that maybe they were right, he was just a pretty face, and all his hard work was the fruit of somebody else. Maybe people liked him just for his visuals and he had nothing else to bring to the table, he had been lucky because they were blinded by love and desperate devotion. 

A sigh left his mouth when he glanced the clock on the wall, it was almost 5 p.m, Doyoung would’ve been home by minutes and he didn’t want to be found like that. 

He tried to play it cool the whole evening, trying to keep their conversations on Doyoung or anything but him. Still, the suffocating feeling didn’t let him sleep all night. 

And as he turned around in the bed, eyes focused on Doyoung’s breathtaking features, he wondered where all of his inspiration went. 

He had his muse right there in front of him, and now was free to write whatever he wanted, and yet, he was stuck. 

He wanted to scream, but it would’ve been useless, so he decided that crawling up against Doyoung’s body was the best he could do. Maybe his familiar scent would’ve been strong enough to lull him to sleep and drown his demons. 

✯✯✯

“Sing a song with me,” Taeyong said leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom. Doyoung frowned, turning around swinging on his turning chair. 

“What?” He asked, genuinely confused, as he looked around the room to make sure nobody else was there and he wasn’t on the phone. 

“I want you to sing a song with me,” he said moving to sit on his lap, suddenly becoming smaller than what he already was. Doyoung held him in his hold. 

“Because you’re the only one I can trust with these words,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling too much vulnerable and exposed, even in front of him, his soulmate. 

Doyoung pressed his lips in a thin line, thinking about it for a moment. It wasn’t the problem of singing, he used to do it and he loved to do it. Probably he also had all the cards to be able to become an idol, but that life just wasn’t for him. It was Taeyong’s words that scared him. Was he okay? Or something had happened again? Doyoung knew that the status of his mental health was on the line, he had to spent months on therapy to see the first results, and he was still seeing his therapist now. 

“You have been writing again?” Doyoung asked, tiptoeing around the topic, waiting for Taeyong to open up completely and tell him what he had been writing about. 

Taeyong bit his lips and nodded, looking at his intertwined hands on his lap. It was a flow of thoughts that came to his mind one night when he couldn’t sleep. He sneaked out of their bedroom and there in their living room three songs came to life. Not his happiest ones, but the most sincere he ever came up with. 

“That’s great,” he exclaimed, looking at him proudly, “and they have singing parts?” 

Taeyong nodded again, without knowing why the ability of talking seemed to have left him. Doyoung squeezed his side, his thumb painting soothing circles on it, to tell him that everything was fine. 

Gathering some courage, the brown-haired spoke. “You don’t have to, but it would mean the world to me,” he looked at his boyfriend’s eyes for the first time. 

Doyoung wanted to ask him why him out of everybody he could reach out to collab with. Yes, he kind of told him why, but how vulnerable they were? Why he needed it to be him? 

“Can I read them?” He asked the older, his hands still moving on his hip to keep him grounded. 

“Yes, of course,” Taeyong said as he got up and then went out of the room, just to come back soon after holding three papers in his hands. 

Piece of mind. Switch Off. Yestoday. 

It took Doyoung just the first song to understand why Taeyong seemed so vulnerable while talking about them. And why he needed him to be by his side during this. In those three songs, there was Taeyong in the most open and naked way he ever showed himself to the public. It was him, with his wounded skin and his somehow still open heart, just asking to be able to be human again.

And as much as Doyoung had been by his side for years now, and he had seen him fighting in the front line, a lump formed in his throat with a heavy pain on his chest as he read that words. 

Taeyong started to fidget on the spot when nothing came from Doyoung’ side. Were they not good enough? Were they too dramatic? Should’ve he just let what he had been feeling in the past instead of writing it down? He always felt insecure about his songwriting. He had been judged way too many times for it, that he convinced himself that no matter what, it was simply never going to be enough. Or that it wasn’t sincere. And maybe it wasn’t totally, he worked in an industry that tried to sugarcoat everything, so how could he, a homosexual idol dating another man, be totally sincere if he had to hide himself? Maybe there had to be some female pronouns right there and then but he knew that his feelings put into words were real, and were just about him, Doyoung. 

“They’re beautiful,” he smiled, trying to focus on his wording and not the pain that the ink on that pages brought with them. “I’m glad to have the songwriter of this generation back,” he said as he playfully pinched him on the cheek, just to pull by his arm back on his lap. Taeyong hid his red face on the crook of his neck, a sigh of relief leaving his mouth. 

“I will,” Doyoung whispered against his ear. 

“What?” Taeyong asked, forgetting for a moment what was the main topic of their conversation. 

“I’ll sing this with you.” 

The biggest smile crept on Taeyong’s face before he launched himself on Doyoung’s lips, to catch them in a kiss. 

“Wait, are you making an album?” The younger asked, realizing that maybe that meant Taeyong was going back on his tracks, finally reconnecting with music once again. He knew how important it was for him, and seeing him trying to delete it from his life the last past year tore Doyoung apart. 

Taeyong shrugged. He honestly had no idea. He just wanted to create. Let his mind take him places and then see the outcomes. He couldn’t care much about anything else. The charts. The records. The genre. 

It was just music and him. 

Yet, unexpectedly, one year later his album was ready. 

Nobody was expecting it. Everybody thought he disappeared forever, taking his money and reputation and throw the hell out. Nobody seemed to know where he was, or what he was doing. So it took just one Instagram post with the cover of his album shot by Johnny and designed by Ten (just like the rest of the album) to shake the internet and make his name end up on every first page. 

_"YesTODAY, the album and the single, out at midnight._  
_“SORRY THAT I WALKED AWAY” but sometimes silence, time and meditation can say much more than a thousand words said in the heat of a moment. So now I’m here, pouring my true self out to all of you through my art, hoping that you can take my dreams, my hopes and my fears and make it yours, too. In these 18 songs, there’s a part of me I was never able to properly and sincerely show you, but now that it’s here I hope you can cherish it and hold it close to your heart. “I HOPE YOU LIKE IT WHERE I AM NOW”_

It wasn’t hard to keep the project a secret. First of all, because it wasn’t supposed to be a project at the start. Not until lyrics started to pile up, begging to be shaped into complete songs. Ten talking 24/7 about his friend Kun being an incredible producer didn’t help him either. The curiosity of hearing some of his tunes turned into them clicking immediately and not being able to stop producing together. Their art so in synch that Doyoung had to come and stop them at 2 a.m of the night almost every day because they had so much fun that they lost track of time. 

It wasn’t difficult finding an artistic team either when he had his best friends super happy and hyped, just wanting to be part of his creative team. The lands The Lakes offered were perfect for his album and for Johnny’s mind to picture already every single photo of the shooting. And Ten definitely had too much fun building his new site up, even if that meant flip out over programs he used just once in university, and create a new font just for him. 

And it hadn’t been stressful for him. For once he could create without the press of his agency wanting money to not bankrupt. He had no limits of tracks. Or just one genre to follow. 

For once he truly had fun. Working hard with people that stimulated and supported him. Kun inspiring him to experiment more with his voice and sounds. Ten telling him to go beyond with his style and be his true self. And Doyoung supporting him, in those moments when he felt that he couldn’t make it without a company on his back. 

“You don’t need them, Yong,” Doyoung used to whisper to him as his hands caressed his hair. And the old Taeyong couldn’t believe him. Terrified of flopping, not much because he cared for the charts, he had obsessed for them for too long for his liking. But for the public opinion. He wasn't sure his brain would've been able to take another wave of hate similar to the one he received in the past. 

But now, that the album was out, he could proudly say that Doyoung was right. 

That morning Taeyong didn’t go to see where his album charted, or what people thought of that. He wanted to savour the joy of his first self owned album having been released without having to ruin his mood because of what people had to say. But Ten’s calls didn’t seem to stop so he had to pick up, sleep still in his eyes and an even more sleepy Doyoung in front of him. 

“Fucking finally, Yong!” Ten exclaimed on the other side of the phone. 

“Well, good morning to you too,” Taeyong laughed rolling his eyes to the sky. 

“Did you see that?” Ten said without paying much attention to what the other said. 

“What?” The brown-haired man asked, mindlessly turning the spoon in the jam can. 

“You’re first on fucking billboard hot 100! First!” 

Taeyong was trying to process what Ten said when he could hear Johnny scream “Language” and he would’ve laughed at that if only Ten hadn’t just said that he was first on billboard 100. 

“Me? Wait, is this a joke?” He exclaimed, spoon dropping from his hands and meeting the floor, catching Doyoung’s attention who was looking at the scene without understanding anything. 

“Why would I joke about that? God, you need to find a publicist, a manager, you can’t be that careless about this stuff.” Ten huffed. 

“I’m not careless, I just wanted not to ruin this day, Ten.”

“Well, you’re topping charts even in Korea, you’re trending everywhere, and Doyoung’s name is everywhere too. People say there’s no wonder you fell for him,” 

Taeyong snorted, as if they weren’t the same throwing shit at him just some months before because he wasn’t “pretty enough” or some shits they used to say. “Let me check that, okay?” He said, changing the topic, not wanting to get mad at people hypocrisies. 

“I want the live reaction, wait let’s video call.” Ten said in hurry, he really wanted to see his best friend face, no way he would've lost a moment like this. 

“Ten, we’re half-naked in bed, for fuck sake,” Johnny said so loud that Taeyong could hear him, he grinned, they were something else. But Johnny’s words were useless because before they could waste any more time, Ten was already face calling them. 

“May I know what’s going on?” Doyoung asked with his sleep-filled voice, just now starting to understand where he was. Why everyone there seemed to be a morning person except for him? 

“Your boyfriend is number one almost everywhere and has no clue,” Ten answered before Taeyong, who was too busy checking the charts on his boyfriend’s phone, could. 

“You're first?” Doyoung asked, snapping completely from his sleeping state. 

“I am first,” Taeyong whispered, eyes fixated on the screen as he kept checking the position of his album on several charts. His eyes couldn’t believe it. But the numbers weren’t the things that shocked him the most, it was the comments. The praise. The likes. All the people listening to it and writing how much they missed his music, his voice and his words. 

“I am, o my God, is actually going well?” He said in an incredulous tone. His hands still covering his mouth that kept opening in shock. 

“Yes, you are bitch! You are!” Ten screamed in support, causing Johnny to roll his eyes at his side. 

Doyoung’s big bubble smile was plastered on his face. He knew how important the positive response was for Taeyong. He needed that. Not the numbers, or the first places in the charts, but that was the proof that people still liked him, or at least his music. 

Tears started to roll down Taeyong’s face as he threw himself in Doyoung’s open arms. The sleepless nights, the breakdowns, the starved days were all worth it. 

“We need to throw a party,” Ten said, interrupting their sweet moment. Both him and Johnny had a big smile on their faces, Taeyong could feel from the screen how proud of him they were. 

“Yes, we all deserve this. Gosh, you’re also number one, you all helped me with this, fuck!” Taeyong mumbled, realizing that this album being appreciated was such a big prize for all of them. He and the people he loved the most did all of that, and he couldn’t be prouder. He only had to thank himself and his closet friends for all of these, not leeches hungry for money, or harsh team workers that tried to hold his true potential down. 

✯✯✯

_1 year later._

The summer breeze was blowing, running wild between the town’s houses, cars and people. It was 7 in the afternoon, yet, the sun was still bright in the sky. 

Taeyong was resting his elbows on the balcony rail, looking out at city under him, when the chatting coming from the kitchen came to a stop. Doyoung was talking with his mother, but Taeyong couldn’t get what they were talking about. For some reason, Doyoung was using a dialectic and was also talking really low. He didn’t think much about it and just waited for him to come back where he was before. 

When he sensed Doyoung back at his side he handed him his glass, filled with white wine, and kept staring at the view in front of him. 

“What are you thinking about?” After some moments of silence, Doyoung asked. His hair was now a dark blue, something he wanted to try for ages but never dared to do. Just one month before, Taeyong reassured him that he had done it millions of times and would’ve helped him with that. So after an afternoon of them bickering because the youngest couldn’t trust him fully with his precious untouched hair, that was the result, a shiny dark blue replacing his natural brown locks. 

Taeyong shrugged, took a sip from the glass and then talked. “Just that, I’m happy,” he turned around, finally looking at his boyfriend who was already staring at him, “I’m finally happy.” 

A shy smile crept on Doyoung’s face, the last two years had been a hell of a ride, and no matter how things were definitely better now, their peace was always going to be fragile. He knew that, he always knew that sticking up to Taeyong’ side meant that. And no, he never regretted choosing the life he chose, but hearing his boyfriend say those things tranquillized the silent fears that lingered in his mind, always. 

“You know, three years ago my world has fallen apart and I dragged you down with me,” Taeyong sighed, his eyes looking down at his fingers that were playing with the end of the glass in his hands. 

“And now, I got back making music, my second album just came out, I got the change to perform again, people don’t hate us anymore, and even if they do we don’t care.” The smile that was forming on his face was getting bigger, making it hard for him to talk properly, but he couldn’t suppress the bubbling sensation he was feeling right now. 

“Your business is doing better and better, we live together in an amazing town, far away from the stress of the city.” He turned around, placing the glass on the small table at their side. 

“We do what we feel to do, and I never felt like this before. And it’s so nice to not have the pressure of what people think of you or want from you. And doing all of this with you by my side, with the boys by my side, it just feels so good.” Taeyong’s eyes were shining and his happiness made Doyoung’s heart melt. No, he probably was never going to get used to happy Taeyong. His clumsy way. His curious eyes. His loud and exaggerated laugh. His random thousands of changes of hair colour every week (he had no clue how he was not bald yet). His deep talks late at night. Or his cooking late at night, waking him at midnight asking if he wanted to share some ramen he had just cooked, and if he was anybody else he would’ve sent them straight to hell without thinking twice, but to Taeyong, he could only say yes. 

Yes, living with Taeyong meant living with an incumbent storm on their head, but he wanted all the mess and the struggles that it brought along with it, if it meant sharing his existence with him, and he wanted it forever. 

“I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night, and now I can only see daylight,” Taeyong smiled as his hand came in contact with Doyung’s cheek, the caress as soft as the august wind blowing on their skin. Then he leaned in, closer and closer, just to touch his lips and capture them in a slow kiss. Taeyong’s hands were fast at crawling in Doyoung’s hair, tugging lightly to bring him even closer to him, desperately telling him things he didn’t have the courage to say out loud. And when they pulled away, their lungs burning for air, and their eyes locked into each other, Taeyong just knew that he didn’t want to look at anyone else now that he had seen him. 

Whispers of ‘I love you’ got lost in the evening, as the sun was slowly sinking at the horizon, leaving behind just traces of orange, purple and blue. 

Doyoung started to take deep breaths, desperately trying to build the courage to ask Taeyong what he had been planning to ask for ages. And no, probably this wasn’t the most romantic moment he could choose, they definitely had more conventional occasion, but now was the present, and he knew that it was a now or never occasion. He had to do that. 

So the blue-haired man took a deep breath, and cleared his throat, making Taeyong turn his attention on him once again. 

“Remember what you told me that night,” he whispered, biting his lips nervously. Taeyong eyes drift up to his, he didn’t specify what night, but he knew what he was talking about, the night they decided to go through all of the mess their life brought along with them. 

“Yes, I remember, why?” 

“How I told you that what you give me is enough?” Taeyong started to panic, Doyoung didn’t seem strange just five minutes ago, and neither in the last weeks, yet, his mind started to think of one thing, the worst that could happen. Was Doyoung breaking up with him? Was he getting tired of him? Of the life they were building together? 

He couldn’t let out a word, knowing for sure that his voice would’ve come out like a broken cry, so he simply nodded. 

“Remember that you asked me if I regretted the time we spent together and I said no.” That’s it, Doyoung was breaking up with him. He just had confessed to him how happy he finally was and Doyoung had to go and break everything apart. 

“Well, we came so far from where we started, and sometimes it still feels surreal. Not that I didn’t believe in us, but you know our flames flickered weakly more than once and I could only think of the worst,” Doyoung smiled looking at the ground. “Three more years have passed and I’m so proud of how far and how strong we arrived here. I’m not going to lie, these last years have been hard. I thought that happiness was just something fate didn’t want to gift us. I feared that, no matter how much I wanted, I just couldn’t physically and mentally keep it up with you. We lived in the dark, surrounded by smoke and at some point I was just waiting for it to suffocate me.” Taeyong was staring right at him, now more lost than before. 

“And when that happened,” Doyoung paused for a second, “I thought that was going to be the end for us. I felt so close to dropping everything, but I just couldn’t let you go. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t mine. We didn’t do anything wrong, and I couldn’t let them take away my happiness,” Taeyong bit his nail, why was Doyoung bringing this story back after three years? 

“And you know, it did kill us, but a part of me is happy that that happened. Because only after our death we could truly feel alive. And after many years I understood that they never killed us, but some mannequins, they killed something that wasn’t us. And still, it helped us, we stopped wounding the good and trusting the wicked. You wouldn’t enjoy daylight so much if you never knew what the dark feels like, right?” Taeyong nodded, now biting his lower lip nervously. 

“Well, it’s brighter now. Brighter than ever. Our love is shining, golden like starlight, and after everything we’ve been through I know for sure that nothing and nobody can shut it down. No matter how heavy the storm is going to be, or how hard the wind will blow. We will still stand tall and proud.” 

Taeyong had now a big smile on his face. This conversation still made no sense, but he liked what Doyoung was saying. And also it seemed that he didn’t change his mind like he first feared. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t still extremely insecure about himself, living with a ghost in his mind saying that Doyoung could easily find someone better than him and leave him and everything they had behind. 

“So now, I need to tell you something,” Doyoung’s gaze snapped up to meet Taeyong’s, who was already staring at him. 

“More than what you already said?” The older joked as a small chuckle left his pink lips. 

Doyoung laughed too and then spoke. “Yes, the talk was about the others I don’t really care much about. This one is about you.” 

Doyoung took another deep breath and then grabbed Taeyong’s hands in his. 

“Okay, I’m not good with words, but I have to do this,” he said never diverting his attention from Taeyong, who simply smiled at him to reassure him. “You know, yesterday I was thinking about our first meeting,” a giggle left Doyoung’s mouth, “I couldn’t stand you. God, I thought that by the end of the night I would’ve thrown a punch at you. You seemed so far up your ass but it turned out that you were just shy and awkward with everyone you didn’t know. Took me quite some time to get to know you, but damn, after I did, it felt like I’ve known you since forever.” Taeyong laughed too, their relationship started in a non so common and normal way. That was also one of the reasons why none of their close friends could believe that not only they got together but were still there. 

“If I told the Doyoung of six years ago that I would’ve followed you to the other side of the world he would’ve laughed at my face. And not only that, but that I also had to learn a new language and restart my business...for you? Probably my past self couldn’t even listen because he was too busy fighting with you,” Taeyong rolled his eyes remembering their stupid fights, they acted like teenage boys, it felt absurd that they grew up so much. “But the past is in the past, and now there’s a mature Doyoung madly in love with a mature Taeyong laughing at the stupid kids we were.” Doyoung smiled, his fingers moving a strand of Taeyong’s blonde hair behind his ears. 

“So today, I want to talk to the present you and the future you,” Doyoung took another deep breath and then wetted his lips that felt now drier than ever, “I want to go everywhere you go. Is it going to be here? In Korea? Somewhere in a small town in Italy? Or in a crowded American city? I don’t care. As long as I have you, I’ll be at home.” His voice was shaking, full of emotion, a mix of love and anxiety, the realness and sincerity behind his words made Taeyong’s heart skip a beat. 

“And I want to always be this close, forever. I want to come home to you. Hold your hand in the park, turn around pretending I don’t know you when you launch yourself on the swing like a child,” Doyoung laughed thinking of him doing it every time he had the change, and Taeyong’s cheeks flushed a bright pink, “I want to see you struggle with the hair dye first thing on a Sunday morning. I want to turn around on the sofa just to see that you fell asleep halfway through the movie we decided to watch. I want to hear your inappropriate jokes when we’re with somebody else at dinner, and I have to hit your arm to shut you up, pretending I don’t absolutely love that side of you. I want to stare at you in the corner of the room while you wear your tuxedo ready for a red carpet and then kiss you slowly to remind myself how lucky I am to have you. And I also want to be the only one that takes that outfit off of your body once you get home.” He smirked, making Taeyong hit him on his shoulder as he suppressed the sly smile that was forming on his face. 

“I want to spend Chuseok with you. And put on one of your embarrassing couple outfits for Halloween. I want to put up the lights at Christmas with you by my side. And look for the eggs in the garden at Easter, with you.” Doyoung let go of his hands and took a step backwards. He took something from his back pocket but Taeyong couldn’t see what it was, since he never put his hands before him again. 

“I’ve loved you six summers now but I want them all,” And with that, he kneeled to the ground and put out a ring. Taeyong’s eyes widened. Was _it_ seriously happening? 

“Will you marry me, Lee Taeyong? Will you make me the happiest man on the heart and become my lover forever?” 

Tears started to roll down Taeyong’s face. His breath inched as he threw himself in Doyoung’s arms. 

“Yes, yes, yes...” Taeyong mumbled in the crook of Doyoung’s neck as he socked his shirt with happy tears. Doyoung hugged him tightly as the pain in his chest lifted completely, he was somehow scared that he would’ve said no, maybe not ready yet for a step this big. 

“Hey,” Doyoung whispered as one of his hands made its way to his fiancé’s face, “kiss me,” And Taeyong wasted no time to accomplish. 

“The ring,” Taeyong giggled as he pulled away from the kiss, they had fallen to the ground somewhere between the proposal and their messy kisses. 

“It’s a couple one, I wanted both of us to have it, I know that usua –“ 

“Shh,” Taeyong shut him up, “there’s no need to justify yourself, that’s just more romantic. I love it.” He said as he looked at the rings sitting in the velvety box in Doyoung’s hands. And as soon as they both were on their fingers Taeyong felt something he had never felt before. It was happening, they were going to be married. He was going to be his husband. Their love promise was going to be sealed forever. It was the big step he was thinking about for years. That conversation that was brought up sometimes just to be dropped with the same “We’re fine like this.” Doyoung popped the question he wanted to ask for ages, and never had the courage to; too afraid of asking him something that was, once again, a lot, and too much to handle. And it kind of made him laugh that for once it hadn't been him to put so much weight on the other' shoulder. 

As the night fell in the England sky the two stayed tangled together, outside of their balcony on their small couch. Laughing as they reminisced of their past together, and giggling happily thinking about all of the adventures that were about to come. 

And there was something so romantic about the calm that surrounded them, and the way the city seemed too distracted to think about them. Their love felt like a rose rising up from the frozen ground with none around to talk about it, or compulsively tweet it. Maybe tomorrow the neighbours would’ve heard Ten’s screams about it, and Johnny would’ve quietly congratulated them. Maybe their mothers would’ve cried on the phone tomorrow, mumbling how happy they were and would've already thought about how to set up the place, and the menu to choose. Maybe the internet would've found out when that day will happen with some photos on Instagram. But now, just for that slip second, it was their little secret. Their rare gem that they were protecting with their whole selves. 

Taeyong was smiling dumbly as he kept playing with the ring on his hand. 

“If I think that just three years ago we were laying on our bed, on the other side of the world, and I asked you to drop everything as I dreamt of this place,” 

“There was something so magical and romantic about The Lakes, maybe it was the words the poets wrote about this place that made me daydream so much about our future,” 

“Maybe they cast a spell for us before dying,” Doyoung joked as he caressed Taeyong’s long locks, the older was resting his head on his chest, looking up at him. 

Taeyong hummed, “I like to think that. Who knows, maybe fate pulled us here for a reason,”

“You’re kind of a poet too, right?” Doyoung raised an eyebrow looking down at him. 

Taeyong let out a choked laugh, and hide his face in Doyoung’s chest. 

“Hey, I was being serious!” Doyoung screamed. He really thought that Taeyong was a poet, he had a way with words and in the last two years he showed it more than ever before. And as much Taeyong hated to admit, Doyoung was right. Something about their whole story and the struggles they had to go through made him think that it was written somewhere in the stars. Maybe in the words that inked the white papers of these old men, there was a story like theirs, two lovers with a troubled track in front of them. 

“I think we found our place in the world,” Taeyong whispered soon after. His gaze was fixed on the landscape in front of him, his hands still tangled in Doyoung’s. 

“You know, as long as I have you, everywhere is nice but,” he stopped for a second, his brain trying to organize the right words to say. “Right here, it feels so right. It’s like, no matter how hard the day can get, there’s something so soothing about knowing that I can come back home and just lay on the hammock, waiting for you to come home too. Or that if I wake up earlier I get to see auroras with mountains at the horizon instead of skyscrapers. Or that I can watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet and let the sun kiss my skin.”

Doyoung smiled, as he let his face sink in Taeyong’s hair, and then opened his mouth. “We definitely found our place.” He whispered as he inhaled his husband to be's scent, with a sense of peace that settled in his chest. It had been tough, but they made it. Finally, after ages, they felt right where they were. 

Because even if one day they would've got away from there, those Windermere peaks would've still talked about their love. The wind would've spread their story as he whistled unspoken words through the fallen autumn leaves, passing the baton to the lake's water as soon as they landed on the cold surface. 

Right there, where all the poets went to die, their love will live on. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, as I said I'm not really happy of the outcome of this (the whole plot would've worked better in a long fic with more chapters but did I think of that? No. Do I have time for that? No, sigh.) Still, I hope you enjoyed this. Comments are always appreciated. 
> 
> You can also find me on [Tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/winestainedress-universe)


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